“You need
to demand a level of respect from people. If you don't receive that respect,
you fucking walk away”
These words came out of my mouth yesterday when I was standing in my kitchen yesterday. They weren’t directed at anyone, they just came out. I do my best thinking with my mouth open and I think that some of the stuff that spews out can be pretty good.
These words came out of my mouth yesterday when I was standing in my kitchen yesterday. They weren’t directed at anyone, they just came out. I do my best thinking with my mouth open and I think that some of the stuff that spews out can be pretty good.
Respect was
the theme for the day, and I repeated this line to at least 3 other people and
each of them noted that they were in a position when they felt they were not
getting the respect they are due. So let’s discuss respect today.
Respect is described
as: “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect
Broken down the key phrase is "Esteem for or a sense of the Worth or Excellence of a Person.”
Broken down the key phrase is "Esteem for or a sense of the Worth or Excellence of a Person.”
Broken down
to its root it is “A sense of the worth of a person.”
Respect ultimately
is a social attribute that is granted to a person by others. It is a value
granted to an individual by another based on their culture and things the members
of that culture hold in esteem.
Therefor a
culture that holds education in high esteem will grant greater respect for an
educated doctor then a fast food clerk without a high school diploma.
We as a
culture (western culture) as a basis of our beliefs hold each individual to be
worth of a measure of respect based on them simply being a human being.
Our social
mores instruct us not to disrespect others, and this manifests in courtesy
which is based on behavior mores.
For an
example, playing music loud enough in public to disrupt others is rude,
rudeness shows disrespect.
A
CH (Complete Human) shows courtesy and respect to others, by doing so we
recognize the worth of the other person. And the outward manifestation (social courtesy)
is a sign that we are acknowledging to others that we recognize their personal worth.
Now we
broke down the definition lets discuss the respect goes wrong. ****
In the
majority of situations all persons are accorded a simple measure of respect. If
you are currently NOT in this position read the first line above and get
yourself someplace else NOW then go back to reading this.
I want to
talk about the next level of respect that goes above simple courtesy. The
respect you earn. Earned respect is the
respect you receive for your actions not just your being.
The aforementioned
doctor has earned respect because of the time and effort she has made to earn her
degree, she is also accorded a measure based on the perceived intelligence one
must have to become a doctor, (Perceived mind you, I’ve met some complete
morons with PHD’s). This respect is based on the person’s accomplishments. Here
in the west we do not grant much respect for a person’s family, respect in the
western world has traditionally been earned, it is another topic of discussion to
go into “Royal Families”.
But the
Doctor can also be a philanderer, or a liar, or embezzle funds. These actions
reduce the respect they earn. And some sins are so great that any other respects
due can be washed away.
It used to
be that the value of a man was partly measured in his behavior. The Mechanic
who worked hard, was a true artist in his craft, a good family member could be
looked on well in his community, while the greedy banker could be a man of
scorn.
But now we
focus on the Appearance, not on the action. And the first appearance we look at
is perceived wealth. Look up something called a $30,000 millionaire. These were
people who were buying the appearance of wealth all while living in squalor.
They drove a BMW or Mercedes while wearing an Armani suit with a Rolex watch
and lived in a cramped 3 bedroom with other roommates.
These
individuals are attempting to earn respect by displaying the outward material
appearance of success.
It is
because people no longer respect others for their actions that this paradigm
has been allowed to take hold.
The social
markers of respect worth accomplishments are now readily available to all.
Wealth used to be earned, the Rockefeller was a man who created his empire, the
Carnegie was a true “Self-Made Man” Today any trust fund baby can match an Entrepreneurs
material possessions with a charge card.
I think at
the point this started happening is when the respect model started breaking
down. Cities became to being, neighbors became strangers and we were force to
look at display **** to make our assessments of people. And an entire
generation (more!) was indoctrinated to accept the appearance instead of
learning the person.
So back to
you and your lack of respect.
The people
around you do not respect you because you do not meet their learned qualifications
to earn that respect.
You dress
poorly, you are out of shape, you speak of silly things, you behave like a
juvenile. You do not reflect the current model of a person worthy of greater
respect.
This then leads us to understand
that respect is a two-way street.
One you
must act in a way worthy of that respect and, two you must surround yourself
with people who respect your actions.
If you are
a hard worker you need to place yourself in an environment that rewards hard
work. If you want people to respect you for your morality you need to surround
yourself with people who also respect moral behavior.
The boys
club that goes out every weekend to play the great cocksmen will not respect
the man who stays celibate or true to his wife or girlfriend. Do not surround
yourself with these people.
A group
that goes out drinking to get shitfaced will look down on the lightweight or
the teetotaler.
If you are
in a workplace that only rewards the high performer with no regard to the
ethics or morals the person uses to achieve those numbers then you are not in
an environment that is right for you. Get out.
Or of
course you can simply change Your Values, and adapt to your surroundings and be
no better than them. A CH does not do this however.
No comments:
Post a Comment